Distance - how to deal with it
by Oksana Boichenko
Online dating seems to have long lost its status of an unusual approach to relationships, but it still hasn’t lost some of its main attributes, of which handling the distance is one. Being miles apart from your sweetheart and not being able to meet and spend time together as with orthodox dating can be difficult and requires from you and your partner understanding and skill in handling communication.
The downsides of a long-distance relationship are obvious, but there are quite a few advantages that might help you realize that it is a good fit for you.
The pace of life is increasing day by day, and quite often people living in the same house don’t get to see each other but for a few minutes at dinner time, before being swamped by business and house hassles. Long-distance relationship eliminates the strain of having to give up your usual activities while you search for the destined Russian bride. The means to communication (email, phone, etc) are available 24 hours a day, and writing to your sweetheart after a long day of work while you are comfortably lounging on a sofa can be a great stress-relief.
Meeting and getting to know each other via computer might seem like an impersonal thing to do. On the other hand, such way of communication takes away much of the tension and intimidation in being able to express openly things you might not be able to say face to face (i.e. being too shy to give compliments, feeling too awkward admitting some of the mistakes from previous relationships, etc).
Long-distance relationship is also more forgiving in terms of pressure to move ahead. With regular dating it is much harder to say ‘no’, if you realize that the other person is not really someone you are interested in. Long-distance communication is much less obligatory in nature and leaves you both enough time to get to know each other before you are comfortable to take a more serious step of personal meeting.
Even though it is a suitable alternative to regular dating, online dating means you have to think your communication through carefully in order to avoid feeling the distance for what it really is.
Email is obviously the fastest, most convenient way to get in touch with your Russian bride. It is not limited in the amount of information that can be transferred and gets to the receiver in a flash. Your messages don’t have to contain just the account of your daily activities. A great way to make it special is to include some photos, or send an electronic card, for example.
Phone calls are a more expensive alternative, but add a much more special feeling to your communication. Hearing the voice of a person you are interested in (and, perhaps, have started to fall in love with) can be a great asset to your relationship. Listening to her tone of voice and being able to hear the finest notes in certain expressions will put your communication to a whole another level: next time you open her message in your inbox, your sensations and impressions from reading a plain text will be intensified by knowing how she laughs, how her voice sounds, etc.
Latest advances in technology now allow not only to hear, but also to see the person you are communicating with. Being able to have a video conference with your lady might require for you to tweak a few things on your computer, but the result will be well worth it, giving an additional dimension to your contact.
Snail mail is no longer popular, as it was back in the days when it was the main (sometimes the only) way of delivering the information. While still the longest in terms of delivery time, it is a great way to add a special touch to your relationship being miles apart. Sending a sweet card, a few photos, or even a short hand-written note is a great way to show your lady how affectionate, considerate, sensitive, and romantic you are. She is bound to appreciate this simple gesture!
No matter which way of communication you will choose, a few rules to keep your connection fresh and dynamic at all times apply.
It will be a big plus for your relationship, if you both feel like you know what is going on in each other’s lives. Aside from frequent text messages or emails, take an extra step by making recent photos, including photos of relatives and friends, places you go, so your lady can easily imagine your life (and quite possibly, your life together in future).
Being miles apart is no excuse for forgetting the important dates. In fact, there might be more pressure for remembering them since you have no face-to-face regular communication. It doesn’t mean that you have to go broke every time a holiday rolls around, but your sweetheart will appreciate a token of your attention on special occasions (i.e. she started a new job, her parents’ birthdays, minor holiday, etc). Big holidays (i.e. her birthday, New Year, etc.) might require some creativity from you - you don’t want these occasions to go without a special gesture from your side. In case you are not good at putting together care packages, don’t have enough patience to mail them across the sea, or are simply running out of time, there is always an option of having a trusted agency deliver a gift on your behalf. The choice of gifts can range from a bouquet of flowers to perfumes and stuffed animals.
Finding the right lady to share your life with might be a challenge, but at least the distance between your two loving hearts certainly doesn’t have to be one.
Oksana Boichenko
OksanaLove, Inc.
http://www.oksanalove.com
The matchmaker with 12 years of experience in the online dating business. You can find your second half — just visit our dating site and meet your Russian bride among the thousands of beautiful Russian women.
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