Don’t Jump - You Are In The Wrong Place!
by Simon Reilly
John was in the brokerage business and having lost everything, including the money of his family and friends, he walked down to the shore. John was planning to swim out and drown himself so his family and friends could get the insurance money.
As John was sitting alone on the shore, mentally beating himself up about how stupid he was, that he should have had made better choices, that he had been given incorrect information from his company suppliers, that the government should have put some safe guards in to prevent him from getting into this mess? His train of thought was interrupted by a voice that said “you are in the wrong place!”
He looked up to see a little old man standing beside him. The old man repeated, “You are in the wrong place. The ferry left from over there over half an hour ago”.
John looked annoyed and told the old man to go away and leave him alone and that he wasn’t here to catch a ferry.
The little old man persisted and again told him “you are in the wrong place!”
The little old man introduced himself as Abe and asked John why he looked so distraught. John told Abe that he had lost everything and that he had nothing left.
“Everything!” exclaimed Abe.
John said, “Yes, I’ve lost everything. I have no money left.”
Abe asked John if he knew how to make change for a dollar.
John said, “Of course I know how to make change for a dollar, doesn’t everybody?”
Abe explained to him how immigrants come to this country and they don?t know how to make change for a dollar.
Abe asked John if he could change a ten dollar bill and John said, “Sure I have two fives.”
“I thought you said that you had no money!” exclaimed Abe.
Abe asked John if he knew his way around the boroughs.
“What do you mean? Of course I know my way around the boroughs!” John replied.
“Well, immigrants who come to this country, they don’t know their way around the boroughs.” said Abe.
“What about the language?” said Abe, “Do you know how to speak the English language?”
With that, John started to understand what the little old man was getting at, and that he had assets that he wasn’t taking into consideration.
Abe asked John to go and buy a journal with his $10 and list every ability, experience, expertise, skill, strength and talent that he had, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. Abe asked John to complete the task and meet him at the same place and time the very next day.
John agreed and set off to purchase a journal and went to work to complete the task that Abe had given him.
As John started to write, he could still hear his ego beating himself up about how stupid he was, that he should have made better choices, that he had been given incorrect information from his company suppliers, that the government should have put some safe guards in place to prevent him from getting into this mess - but he persisted and the more he focused and wrote and focused on his ability, experience, expertise, skill, strength and talent - the better and better he felt.
As he started to feel better, he started to come up with ways to reignite his business. He began thinking of products and services that he could offer that he had long since forgotten about. From his introspection, he realized he had gotten soft sitting on the laurels of a Bull Market and living off the spoils of easy commissions, and he had neglected to look after his client?s needs of critical illness, disability and life insurance.
John wrote well into the night and had completed a vision, business plan and goals for the next 90 days. He couldn’t wait to meet with Abe to tell him about what had happened.
When John met up with Abe, John shared how much better he felt and that he now had a new found inspiration and passion for his business and to the clients that he served.
He thanked Abe with all his heart and the asked the old man, “How did you come to talk with me yesterday?”
Abe replied, “My wife of forty years, just died of cancer and I was feeling like it was the end and I looked up and said, ‘Lord give me a sign’ and then I looked over and saw you and you looked in even worse shape than me.”
This story goes back to 1991/1992 when my partner and I had the Vancouver Anthony Robbins Franchise. Even though our franchise had won number one in sales in 1991 for Tony Robbins - Unlimited Power Weekend Video Seminar, we were still feeling a lot of negativity because sales results were unsustainable.
Looking back, this had nothing to do with Tony Robbins or the Franchise and everything to do with the Franchisees because many of us were in the wrong place.
All the franchisees were invited to the Robbins Research International Head Office in San Diego for a conference with Tony. There was more than a fair share of blame, fear and infighting going one.
To our surprise, the opening speaker wasn’t Tony Robbins but a client of Tony’s. I’ve lost track of this persons’ name so let’s call him John. John’s opening remark was “You are in the wrong place.”
As you approach the end of the end of 2008 and look forward to 2009, remind yourself of your clients and the difference that you have made in their lives and notice how it makes you feel.
Leading Advisor - Simon Reilly offers financial advisor training, coaching and speaking designed to help Financial Advisors and their teams clear their roadblocks to success. http://www.leadingadvisor.com
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Three Steps To Make Sure Your New Year’s Resolution Is A Success
by Mark Kearns
That special time of the year is here once again. No, not the holidays, this is the time of the New Year’s resolution. That special time of year when people take stock of their lives, paying special attention to the things that have gone wrong during the year, and set out to make New Year’s Eve night that special time of setting big goals and using the law of attraction to manifest what they truly desire.
The only problem with this is that probably sometime at the end of January, or February or for those few with sheer determination, maybe as far as March, your energy and sheer perseverance is going to wane and soon another new year’s resolution will fall by the wayside. Oh well, there’s always next year.
If you want to make this year special, and get up and running with confidence that you will attract what you want and achieve your new goal, there are three things that are absolutely crucial to make this a reality, a very enjoyable reality. Goal achieving and attracting what you really desire, utilizing the secret law of attraction is all about creating the right state of mind.
First, if you really want to start with a bang and with something that you will stick with and see through to completion, start with something you are inspired to do. Success is really based on inspiration, not just motivation. Even if you need to reduce your weight, become more aware of finances, or finally complete those home repairs you have successfully put off all year. If it strikes you more as work than fun, don’t start with it, don’t make those kinds of things your new year’s resolution.
If you always wanted to start a new job, move to another location, buy a special car, ask a certain someone out on a date, something that you dream about on a daily basis, then let that be your goal. Motivation, such as that provided by your basic, typical New Year’s resolution only goes so far. But, you never see the finished product because you are not inspired to see it through to fruition. It is not a part of you. Motivation without inspiration is never going to produce the results you really desire.
Second, be sure that you do not corrupt your goal by defining your goal in terms of something that you don’t want to do or have. This is quite common for most people. They can tell you what they don’t want easier than they can tell you what they desire. Use what you don’t want to experience as a spring board to determine what you do desire. Then define that as your goal. Remember, you attract what you don’t want just as much as what you do want. The law of attraction is very impersonal.
Third and this is the most important one. Practice speaking , out loud, about your goal. Your speech is your first outward sign of the thoughts you hold. It is the defining clue to what you really attract through the law of attraction. Talk to yourself, out loud, about your goal. Answer question such as what makes your goal important? Talk about how your life will change when you achieve your goal. How it impacts and benefits those around you. In short, juice it up as much as you can.
If you don’t tingle after telling your story, it’s not good enough, you’re not inspired. Say it out loud so you hear the words you use to describe what you desire. Clients are always amazed with this exercise because they are so use to just thinking about it, not saying it.
You might be surprised to find that you aren’t as inspired with the goal you’ve chosen as you thought. Or, that you are really tentative about it, which indicates an unconscious belief standing in your way.
This will undoubtedly be an eye opening experience for you, but one that you will certainly appreciate, especially when you finally achieve the goal that you truly desire.
Mark S. Kearns, MA, N.H.D. offers even more insight into the law of attraction through his no cost newsletter. Sign up today and begin to receive your copy. Each newsletter covers different questions about the law of attraction. Mark is an Executive Consultant, a LifeSuccess Consultant and a recognized expert on the law of attraction.
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Mathematical Formula to Success
by Florence Bernard
Have you ever wondered what use you were ever going to make of learning how to solve mathematical equations? I think we all have to admit that most of us don’t tend to use that knowledge on a daily basis… mmmm…
What if we did? What if we used it in a very natural and practical way that doesn’t actually involve a pencil and an eraser and little numbers on a piece of paper? I remember learning the basic rule that would solve all the equations: + and + equals +, + and - equals - and, - and - equals +. You remember? We could equate this to the three categories of people found in life.
The + + category first: These are the positive people, the ones who are always happy and successful. Things always seem to go great for them. Of course, life is life and they encounter their share of difficulties, obstacles, heart aches and struggles. But they keep smiling through it all and look forward to a better day, which they always get to. They are not exceptional people; they are not more talented than any of us. Life smiles at them because they smile at it. Always. Their perception of every situation is the key to their success. They accept that things are what they are and that focusing on the solution is the answer.
The + - category: I am going to have to say that these are the majority of people in our society. They lead the same average life as the people in the previous category, where there is always a lot of positive and some negative. Isn’t life usually like that? The difference, though, is that this category of people just look at the glass half empty. They take things for granted, they are never satisfied with what they have, they show no gratitude or contentment for their “deal” and the opportunities offered to them. In fact they often miss them being too hesitant and negative, regret it eventually and blow things out of proportions saying that these things keep happening to them. They fall into any media trap telling them that there is too much crime or not enough money in the world. You find these people in our countries, the Western, more “developed” world.
Finally, the - ‘ category: These are the people who take NOTHING for granted. I am talking about the Helen Keller’s of this world, the Lance Armstrong type. The people who face real adversity, the people who start with nothing and get to the top. These people will eventually meet the + + category and merge with them. Some of the + + people will also sometimes fall into this category but will rise above.
Why is it that it will sometimes take a life threatening event to shake people? Why is it that so many people stay contented in the + - world? Why do people wait to be fifty pounds overweight to start dieting? How come people wait to hit rock bottom to kick back up to the surface?
Look, it is mathematical. The universe follows very clear, simple, mathematical laws. A + - person will always create negativity. It’s just how it is. It’s basic math! Such a person will remain a victim, someone who always blames other people or circumstances for their failures, someone who gets entangled in a bunch of lies to try and get out of some mess they put themselves in… These people never take responsibility for their actions and never move forward. They always want “things” to change for them and they don’t see that they are the ones who need to change.
Life is as simple as a mathematical equation. We all learned it at school, before we hit puberty. But no one ever explained it to us. This is how life works. If you want to solve your life’s equation, get into the + + category. No one will help you to start with. People and circumstances will only come to your rescue once you have started to accept life as it is and be thankful for it. Then you’ll be on the right track.
From there, everything will get into place to take you where you want to be. All this applies to every level in life. Teach it to your kids; use it for yourself, in your relationships, your business and your health. Never, ever, ever give up. Stick to your dreams and make them a reality. Cry when you need to and remember that next time, you’ll be crying for joy. Your success is here, it is in your hands. If you get out of the + - category.
You have to believe it. It’s proven, mathematically.
Florence Bernard, founder or Better At School is a Parental Consultant and Motivational coach. She offers self-development for parents and children geared towards progress at school but also beyond. Coaching packages and her book, Better at School, The Essential Guide to Help Kids Improve at School are available on her website http://www.betteratschool.com , where many other FREE resources can be found.info@betteratschool.com - +1-954-903-0655
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The Agony and the Ecstasy of Saying No
by Denise Ryan
Most of us women have a hard time saying no. It’s one of those things we over think. We worry about how the other person will feel - will we hurt their feelings? Will they feel rejected? We even take into account society at large - will we seem like a bad person? We wind up saying yes when what we really want to say is no. Sometimes hell no.
I’m terrible at this. It’s hard for me to tell a man I’ve just had a first date with, when he hopefully says, “Would you like to go out again?”, no. I don’t want to crush him. I’ll do anything not to have to tell him no to his poor, hopeful face. But I don’t want to lie or lead him on. Usually I weasel out by saying, “Why don’t you call me and we’ll see?” or something similarly lame. It’s the hope in their voices. Oh how I hate to crush hope.
When people ask me to do something I am usually honored that they want me to come to their baby shower, their child’s birthday party, or whatever. I know they think the event will be fun. I also think my single status sometimes freaks people out and they think being alone is a sad, pathetic thing. How can I tell them that sitting with a group of strangers and celebrating something I could care less about is far, far worse than being in my own house doing my own thing? I love my house, my TV, my work, my books, my snacks! Whee!!!!! I don’t have to pretend to be nice to people I don’t like and I can leave anytime I want. I don’t have to put on make-up or panty hose. I love the freedom of it.
So how can we all get better at saying no?
1.) Man up. I completely admire men’s ability to say no. They just say it - they don’t offer excuses or rationalizations. They simply say no. They are non-emotional in the saying of the no. It’s not mean. They simply consider the offer and if it’s something they don’t want to do they say no. Forget Freud’s penis envy, I have “no” envy. Next time you need to say no, say it like a man.
2.) Say yes to you. Why am I putting other people’s comfort above my own? Why am I worried about how they might feel when I know how I will feel if I say yes? I will feel obligated to do something I don’t want to. I will be unhappy. Saying no to them is saying yes to me. It is my time and I deserve to spend it in the way I want.
3.) Get over yourself. I have to tell myself that these events are not going to be impacted that much by my attendance. Who do I think I am? Paris Hilton? Barack Obama? Madonna? Why am I acting like the baby shower or birthday or whatever will be impacted that much by my absence? They will not miss me.
4.) Say it soon. I delay. I panic in the heat of the moment. I tap dance. I smile. I say let me check my calendar. Then I go home once I’ve recovered from the shock of the ask and figure out how to get out of it. The sooner no is said the better. Men would rather hear immediately if you don’t want to see them again then work up all the nerve for another call. Your hostess would rather know now than after she’s planned the food.
5.) Refuse guilt. Some people will ask you to things that you can’t afford or that are inappropriate or that you just don’t want to do. Sometimes when you say no you may feel guilty or they may try to make you feel guilty. NO! Step away from the guilt. You want help with this? Imagine yourself spending the money for the gift or the new outfit or the travel or whatever. Imagine the time you will spend dreading the event, traveling to the event, at the event. Imagine actually sitting there for those hours, making small talk, smiling, laughing at stupid jokes, dying to escape. What is worse - all of that or a little guilt? It’s your life, spend it how you want. Guilt is for suckers.
6.) More help with guilt. If you say yes, when you really want to say no, no one is going to appreciate it. They are going to think you really wanted to be there. They think the baby shower, wedding, birthday party is fun. They think you had nothing better to do (obviously or why would you be there?). So if they don’t really appreciate this great sacrifice, why make it? To twist the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can make you feel guilty without your permission. Don’t give it to them.
Just remember - saying no to what you don’t want is saying yes to what you do want.
Denise Ryan, MBA, is a Certified Speaking Professional, a designation of excellence held by less than 10% of all professional speakers. She is a blogger http://motivationbychocolate.blogspot.comHer website is http://www.firestarspeaking.com where you can see more articles and sign up for a free newsletter.
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Increase Your Happiness
by Denise Ryan
The eternal search for happiness - we want it, but we seem wired more for dissatisfaction. We get something we think will make us happy and soon we’re looking for the next thing. Somehow human achievement and happiness don’t seem to fit together. If I’m always working to be more, to grow, how can I just be happy?
I struggle with this all the time myself. And I have some ideas that might help.
1.) Stop trying to have it all, do it all, be it all. You can’t. You’re going to have to decide what you want the most and really go for it. I want freedom and the price is extraordinarily high. Sometimes I pay by being lonely. But to me, freedom is worth it. Know what’s really important to you. Let go of the rest. You can’t be the world’s greatest mother, wife, and businesswoman. Choose one, give it your best. When you’re feeling unhappy, you’ll have to remind yourself what’s really important to you.
2.) Stop comparing yourself to others. This is a losing battle. There will always be someone who has more of something than you do; who is younger, richer, smarter - whatever. People will be hitting the beach soon - will you be having fun or worrying about how much skinner the girl in the red bikini is? Who cares? Are you ever going to see those people again? And guess what? You’ll never be younger than you are now - better enjoy it today!
3.) Celebrate what you have. Be glad you can go to the beach. Some people don’t have the money, time or physical ability. Some people can’t see the sun sparkling on the water, they are blind. Some are deaf and will never hear the waves. Celebrate all you have - being sad about what you don’t have is a waste of time.
4.) Make lemonade! Life is going to give you lemons, I guarantee it. What you do with them is what impacts your happiness. Several months ago I was lucky enough to be in a relationship, but things didn’t work out. I was sad, but there was nothing I could do about it. I could throw a pity party (two of my last standing single girlfriends got engaged around the same time) or I could make lemonade. I decided to use this as the catalyst to finally book my trip to Australia. Living well is the best route to happiness. Something bad happens, you plan something good.
5.) Don’t put your eggs in someone else’s basket. Waiting for your spouse, boss, child to do something to make you happy? This is a bad strategy. I usually do something nice for myself on Valentine’s Day (see #4), but this year I had a boyfriend, so I figured he would do something. When he didn’t, I was sad and disappointed. If I had been responsible for my own happiness, I would have had a great Valentine’s Day. Most folks have enough trouble with their own eggs in their own baskets. Look after your own eggs and you’ll have a better shot at happiness.
6.) Just do it! Often our unhappiness is caused by something we could fix - a job we could leave, a relationship we could end, a pile of clutter we could clean up, debt we could pay off, etc. But we’d rather agonize over it, worry about it, and let it steal our joy. Sometimes the best course of action is to suck it up and deal with it. Sit down one weekend and clean up the clutter or map out a plan to start paying off the debt and then do it. If you don’t, choosing instead the short term pleasure of doing something else or buying something else, the situation usually gets worse and you’re more unhappy. Sometimes you have to trade short term pleasure for long term happiness.
And finally, remember that happiness means different things to different people - for some it may be spending time with family, for some it may mean travel, for some work. Know what it means for you and strive to add more of it in your life.
Denise Ryan, MBA, is a Certified Speaking Professional, a designation of excellence held by less than 10% of all professional speakers. She is a blogger http://motivationbychocolate.blogspot.comHer website is http://www.firestarspeaking.com where you can see more articles and sign up for a free newsletter.
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