How to Get Motivated
by Denise Ryan
Most of the articles I see that discuss motivation talk about sports. But we average Joes and Jills are not playing sports. We just have to get out of bed everyday, go to work, and try to live. We don’t have a coach working with us and a bunch of fans cheering us on. There are no big endorsement contracts, no uniforms, and seldom the thrill of victory. How do we find motivation?
It seems to me that most people want to find the motivation to do something (or to stop doing something). Let me give you some examples:
Lose weight or eat healthier. Stop smoking. Get rid of clutter or be more organized. Get out of debt. Exercise. Make better use of their time.
I don’t think what is needed is necessarily motivation. I think what is needed is true desire, discipline, and information.
What do I mean? True desire - you have to really, truly want it. It starts here. It’s not going to be easy, but don’t lie to yourself. If deep down you really would rather have that new pair of shoes than pay off that credit card - I can’t help you. You’ve got to get this straight in your own head. You have to decide what you really want and go for it. When athletes take the field they want to win. Period. You have to have that level of clarity and desire.
You don’t hear much about discipline anymore and that’s a damn shame. Because discipline is what you’re going to need. The discipline to get out of bed when you don’t feel like it and go to the gym. The discipline to not buy those shoes and put that money in the bank. The discipline to go to night school when your friends are out partying. Every successful person in the history of the world could practice discipline. Discipline is doing what might suck in the short term to get you where you want to go in the long term. No discipline equals no success. There is no easy way out.
Information is vital. Too many people fail because they don’t know what they need to do to succeed. They don’t realize they will NEVER get out of debt paying the minimum balance on their credit cards. They don’t know that salad dressing, cheese and bacon they just dumped on their salad destroyed their diet. You don’t need more motivation - you need more information.
Here’s your “motivation:”
1. Commit or let it go. You have got to be able to say “I will do whatever it takes to do ______________.” And you have to mean this. If there is any doubt in your mind, come back when you’re ready. Don’t waste your time until then.
2. Get smart. You obviously aren’t that smart about this particular topic. Hey - there’s no shame in that!! If you could see my library, you’d know there’s a whole lotta stuff I’m not too smart about! But you need to quit thinking you have all the answers. Get a basic book on managing your finances or on weight lost or organization. Whatever it is you think you need “motivation” for. Anything that promises you a quick fix is a lie and a bad source. You are not going to become rich, skinny or organized overnight. You need to get smart, not suckered.
3. Set up systems. Automatic payroll deduction, making your lunch the night before, immediately sorting the mail over the trash can, deleting all email by the end of the day - you have got to make this a no brainer. Your systems will start to form habits and the new behaviors will become easier.
4. DISCIPLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!! These systems are going to be hard at first, they may be hard for a long time. Even the life long athlete has days when they don’t want to workout. That’s where discipline comes in. You have to work your system even when you don’t want to. Now - I don’t mean that if you have an injury, you keep working out. I mean if it’s cold outside and you just don’t feel like it, you man up and go. There’s a difference between taking care of yourself and being undisciplined, and we all know it. This is the difference between those who get what they want out of life and those who don’t. And the only person who can do this for you is you.
Don’t get discouraged - what I find is that the more you practice discipline - the easier it gets. You become stronger. Your self-esteem rises. You realize that you CAN get out there and do anything - you just have to push yourself.
5. Keep on top of it. Life happens - sometimes things will occur that will throw you off track. You may have a health issue or you may have to go out of town for work and things may pile up on your desk. This has nothing to do with your discipline. The clutter comes back, the exercise regime can’t be completed, you regain some weight. That will happen, it’s okay. As soon as you can, get those systems going again. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Do what you can as soon as you can.
6. Fight the P Sisters - procrastination and perfectionism. Don’t put it off till tomorrow. Better to do a little today than nothing. It DOES NOT have to be perfect. A short workout is better than no workout. A small binge is better than a huge binge. Get back on track as soon as you can.
You might read this and think - but I just want motivation to get out of bed and go to work or to be a better parent. You know what I’m going to say? Look at those steps in that context - are you really committed to loving your job? If not, don’t look for me to motivate you into it! If you are, are there things you could learn to make you better at it? To help you advance? If you don’t know, learn the answer!
Set up systems - if you love your co-workers, make sure you have a fun lunch planned with one each day. The discipline is that you have to fight to keep your fire about anything - you have to keep learning, keep growing, keep reminding yourself of what you like, etc. etc.
Do you see? These steps really do apply to anything you want to be “motivated” about. So there it is - stop waiting for that magic “motivation” and get on it!
Denise Ryan, MBA, is a Certified Speaking Professional, a designation of excellence held by less than 10% of all professional speakers. She is a blogger http://motivationbychocolate.blogspot.comHer website is http://www.firestarspeaking.com where you can see more articles and sign up for a free newsletter.
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3 step Happy Manifesting Technique
by Patrick Jones
The 3 step Happy Manifesting technique combines mind power and imagination to attract happy, delightful, and fortunate experiences into your daily life in a way that appears to be magic. It is an intermediate to advance level exercise utilizing the law of attraction. The Happy Manifesting technique is easy to use and can be applied immediately. From completion of reading this article, you will be one step closer to manifesting like a King. Proceed to step one.
1. Intend it
In order to do something, first intend it. In this case, you desire to have complete happiness so one must intend it first. I’m going to share with you a simple but yet powerful “happy” manifesting technique that I use daily that creates tremendous results. It triggers something in you like magic, that allows you to feel happy no matter what. Here’s a little manifesting exercise. Immediatelly after waking up in the morning, take three deep breaths while focusing on the rising and falling of your chest. Then immediately imagine exactly that you’re already at the end of your day and you’re jumping up and down with excitement because you had a splendid and wonderful day. Then observe the feeling of excitement that arises. Become one with that feeling untill you naturally desire to let it go from your mind. When you let it go from your mind, do it completely. It would definately help if you already have something else to focus on immediately after letting go in advance. So when you let go, you can immediately focus on something else and give it your full attention, so that you don’t consciously get in the way. This exercise works best when performing it without judging it or judging yourself in the process. I apply this exercise daily and it works wonders for me and everyone who believes in it. The key word in the previous sentence is Believe. After performing this exercise, just do what you naturally desire to do for the rest of the day. I won’t even try to explain what you’ll uniquely experience throughout the day because the possibilities are infinite. I guarantee you 110% success when applied correctly!
To give this manifesting technique a super boost, without judging the process, write down the first 3 things that make you happy as fast as possible immediately Before starting this exercise.
2. Only do what you Feel like doing
Only do what you desire or whatever you feel like doing. Be aware that there is nothing you Have to do and there’s nothing you Need to do to be happy. For the rest of the day, replace whatever you think you need or have to do with the desire to do it. Even if you don’t naturally desire to do it, just pretend without judgement. Now, just imagine yourself feeling excited upon completion of that desire, then let it go from your mind and focus on something else. One must trust in this process to experience the fruit from it. Only do what you feel like or what you naturally desire to do. That is the way of KINGS!
3. Focus completely in the moment
Whenever you’re in action of doing whatever you naturally desire, give it your full attention. The results of your desires are more fruitful when given full concetration. The beautiful thing is, whenever you’re doing something you naturally desire, you automatically and naturally give it enough concentration for it to fulfill itself because it’s something you naturaly feel like doing. Combine these three steps daily. Master this technique. Here’s a little bonus for you: A quick and simple way of mastering it is, Imagine in your head that you’ve already performed this excersise before, and that it was super easy to implement, then let it go. The Happy Manifesting Technique is a guaranteed and proven exercise. It can also be tweeked and used to create abundance. Good luck!
Like many, I hope you found this article useful. Learn to manifest like a King and get your Free “Matrix of Mind” ebook here
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The Best Year Ever
by Florence Bernard
You want to know what 2009 is going to be like? Well, I am going to tell you, so read on!
But first I want to tell you something else: 2009 is going to be the best year ever for me and all people surrounding who will be open enough to listen. Why, how? Because I know it. Because I can see it and feel it. Because it is my clearest, surest and most definite intention.
Now I am going to tell you what 2009 is going to be like for you. There are two possibilities and I invite you to choose.
First, you can carry on as you are. You can keep listening to what people say, to the radio and watch bad news on TV or read the big bad titles in the newspapers. You can look around in stores and pretend that they are empty, you can count the people who have lost their jobs with everybody else, you can remain convinced that Wall Street is falling apart and that Real Estate will never be the same again, and so on and so forth… you can fall into the trap of the media and general negative propaganda so dear to the Western World!
And then 2009 is going to be a seriously gloomy year for you. Not only all of the above is going to happen but you are also likely to get sick, depressed and unhappy. Yes, maybe some of you are in dire straits, but there is a solution. And listening to more of your troubles experienced by others is certainly not going to help!
Second scenario now: As of today, you are going to start thinking of what you WANT to happen for you in 2009. You are going to think strongly about it and select all the important changes you want in the next twelve months. You are going to write them down and on January 2nd, you are going to sit with your partner, husband, wife, kids, brother, sister, best buddy, soul mate, whoever you want and you are going to share them.
You are not just going to list them. You are going to LIVE them. You are going to describe them and feel them and make the people who are listening get as excited for you as you are going to feel as you are telling your stories. If one of your wishes is to get a new car, you are not just going to find a picture to show them but you are going to tell them what you are going to do with the car, like drive across from Florida to California with your kids and stop in the best hotels or camp in the wilderness…
And then when you are done and all excited, that you feel that you are going to get these things, achieve these goals, you are going to stop being a sheep and follow the crowds. You are going to stop watching the news and reading newspapers. You are going to stop watching useless programs on TV that make you believe life should be s certain way. If you don’t believe me, please just humor me and try in just for two weeks. Just for two weeks, make an effort to stop watching TV and listening to the radio or read newspapers. And avoid all conversations where people talk about the recession (?) and the crisis and “oh, what is the world coming to?”. Please just try it.
The last thing that I’d like you to do is to keep the list you just made. Make a better copy maybe, more legible and with pictures and keep it by your bed. Every night, let it be the last thing you look at before you go to sleep and think about it. If you are not alone in bed, share it again and again. Say what you are going to do and get and let yourself fall asleep, still talking. If you are alone in bed, just do the same. If one of your wishes is to get a husband or wife to share the bed with, he/she will be there even faster! And please, don’t stop after a week, just keep at it. There are 365 days in 2009.
I am not making these things up. Many very successful and happy people talked about it before me and lived the life they desired. But too many people have forgotten. We live in a negative world, we live in a Matrix created by too many people thinking and attracting the same negativity based on a selection of so called “news” miles from reality and with no perspective. “News” where the glass is always at least three quarters empty instead of half full.
I believe that 2009 is going to mark the beginning of a new era. Not because of politicians or religious leaders or military leaders. Only because of PEOPLE leaders. People who know that the world is a good place to be, when you look at it properly.
It is your decision, only yours.
Florence Bernard, founder or Better At School is a Parental Consultant and Motivational coach. She offers self-development for parents and children geared towards progress at school but also beyond and authored a book on this topic. http://www.betteratschool.com ,She is also a successful network marketer with Agel. http://www.doitasyoufeel.cominfo@betteratschool.com - +1-954-903-0655
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How to Change Your Life
by Denise Ryan
As a new year begins or a major birthday approaches, people start thinking about their lives. They sometimes are disappointed by where they are and want to be somewhere else. The things they want are not easy to get - if they were, they would already have them. So how does one set about changing one’s life?
1.) Realize it is up to you. Period. No one is going to do the work for you. You may be able to get some help along the way, but this is completely up to you.
2.) Pick three things only. No more. I know, I know - there’s the bucket list. Here’s my thought on that - why overwhelm yourself? When you accomplish one goal you can add another. But if you list 100 things it’s easy to lose focus and get distracted - doing a little here and a little there. An important part of this is prioritizing your desires. What are the three things you want most now?
3.) I know this is so overused, but think outside your own box. Try to get to the core of things. Why do you want to lose weight? To be healthier? To look better? Do you want to look better because you want to be loved? Is losing weight the right goal or is meeting more people a better goal? What is the most important thing to you? Here’s a list of possible values: http://www.fbpandassociates.com.au/pdf/List-of-Values.pdf . There are many others available online.
To find the right life for you, you have to know what is most important to you at your very core. What is most important to me is freedom. It’s taken me a long time to really understand that, and it may take you a while to get to your core values, but the only way you can be happy is by living your life according to YOUR values - no one else’s.
4.) Write them down and be as specific as you can. Examples:
I want to pay off all my debt by the end of 20XX.
I want to run a mile by the end of February.
I want to go to Australia by 20XX.
Writing them down is crucial as is having a deadline. If reading them doesn’t fill you with excitement, you have the wrong goals. You will know in your gut the goals that are right for you. When I was planning my goals for this past year, I usually include a big trip somewhere. This year it felt right to me to forgo the trip and pay off my mortgage. It wasn’t very exciting, but it has made me very happy. Remember my freedom value? Now that I don’t have a house payment, I am much more free. I don’t have to be as worried about work - I will have a roof over my head. The house payment is an obligation I no longer have. Live according to YOUR values and you will be much happier. These goals are all about you, not the world. You may feel all this pressure to get married or to lose weight, but if you aren’t excited by those goals, let them go. This is your life we are charting.
5.) You can change your mind at any time. If you start researching your trip to Australia and decide you’d rather just go to New Zealand - that’s okay. Or if you decide you want to push a deadline back, that’s okay too. Changing your mind is not the same as giving up. You give up if you still really want the goal but you got lazy and quit working toward it. That leads to regret - I don’t want you to have regrets. Just give yourself more time.
6.) If you aren’t making progress, regroup. Are you doing the right things? Maybe you need to do some research or ask for help. I see people in the gym all the time fooling themselves that they are working out; women lifting 5 lb. dumbbells wondering why they don’t have great arms. They need to get a trainer, a book, a video - they aren’t working hard enough to get the results they want. Or their form is so bad they might as well be sitting at home watching TV. This can be true with any change. You’re trying hard, but need more information.
7.) Build in some cool rewards. If you lose 10 pounds, treat yourself to a spa visit. Losing 10 pounds is hard! Choose rewards that will keep you working toward the goal and give them to yourself! Most of us are great at beating ourselves up, but awful at rewarding ourselves. Do it!
8.) Take some action toward your goal every day, even if it is small. Little things add up. They also help build momentum for bigger things. With the mortgage, I had been making extra payments for years. But when I wrote down the goal to pay it off, it made me really think about how I could do it, what it would be like to have no house payment! I took all the trip money, some savings and BLAM - did it. But it was all those little extra payments that helped me get there.
Stop reading this and figure how who the hell you really are and exactly what you want. Write it down. Make it happen. Or don’t - it’s completely up to you.
Denise Ryan, MBA, is a Certified Speaking Professional, a designation of excellence held by less than 10% of all professional speakers. She is a blogger http://motivationbychocolate.blogspot.comHer website is http://www.firestarspeaking.com where you can see more articles and sign up for a free newsletter.
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Helping Alcoholics Recover
by Patrick Meninga
There is a definite system for how to stay clean and sober and most alcoholics will never figure it out.
The system involves creation.
Most people get confused when it comes to quitting drugs and alcohol, because they see it as a process of elimination. They think that the primary focus is on eliminating drug use and then on avoiding all of those triggers and urges that might pop up in our lives that might make us relapse.
If recovery were truly this simple then we would probably see much higher success rates. Unfortunately we do not, because achieving good results in recovery takes an awful lot of effort.
One of the hard truths about recovery is that it takes a monumental effort in the beginning. If you want to achieve a successful life of sobriety then you have to put forth a huge initial effort. Many of us have learned that we can enjoy success in life by taking a more modest approach with most things, but this will not work in recovery. If you approach early sobriety with anything less than a 100 percent effort, you are going to relapse.
Now this can be particularly confusing because we often times will look to the seasoned veterans of recovery who have multiple years of sobriety and try to emulate their life. This will not work for the newcomer and it will cause them to relapse. If your sponsor has 10 years of sobriety and as a newcomer you try to copy his lifestyle exactly then you are going to relapse. Why? Because we change and evolve and grow in our recovery. What got us clean and sober will not keep us clean and sober….we have to keep changing as we go along.
Not only that, but the amount of up-front effort you need as a newcomer to recovery is just huge. Don’t think that you can somehow find a shortcut to the serenity and calm demeanor of that ten-year-sober sponsor of yours. That serenity was earned. It is not a magic gift that you can claim without putting in the footwork.
I mentioned that the system for staying clean involves creation and that is exactly what the newcomer must set out to do. They must create a new life for themselves. This is the only way to lasting recovery. The success stories who give credit to 12 step programs are all actively creating a new life for themselves. They might give credit to their higher power or to the 12 steps but their long term success in recovery was paved by their actions. They took action in early recovery and continued to put one foot in front of the other and they stayed sober through the years. Yes, some of the “tools of the program” certainly helped them but not in the way that they originally thought. The secret was in their vision for a new life and the action to pursue it.
Creation is not something that you get better at by reading about it. You have to get out there and live your life and start taking positive action and see what works for you. Recovery is indeed a learning process but not in the way most people think. What you are learning is about what creative efforts work for you in your own life. The people in 12 step fellowships are not learning the program better as they go through the years, instead they are learning about themselves and what works for them in their recovery as they go through the years.
This is not to say that a 12 step program can not help you because it certainly can. But understand that the success rates are lousy for any recovery program, and the real secret lies in the actions and the creative efforts of the individual. Many who fail in working a program say that they failed to grasp the program and apply it in their life, but what really happened is that they failed to create a vision for a new life for themselves and then properly pursue it. There is a difference here and in some ways it is too subtle for most to notice.
The answer is in creation.
If you would like to learn more about how to help an alcoholic then visithttp://www.spiritualriver.com/
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